SIZE! What Is It Good For…?

Not sure if anyone heard the story of the African wife who asked for an annulment because her husband’s dick was too big. Of course, there were endless jokes about this woman and her inability to “take that dick.” The jokes were intertwined with the matter-of-fact statements of that’s what EVERY woman wants.

Is it? Is it what EVERY woman wants? Segue to the age old question of “Does size really matter?”

Women love, love, love to talk about dicks! If any woman would like to pretend that she does not discuss size, shape, texture, color, etc. with girlfriends is a lie and the truth ain’t in her! Size matters in conversations with our girlfriends and in conversations with our boyfriends, it’s about performance, not size. Note: Bruised egos are never what we seek…unless he’s become the absolute scum of the earth.

I will admit size DOES matter.  Hands down!! It does!! The important part to this is WHY it matters.  I have experienced a plethora of dicks…okay, maybe not that many but enough to make my statement valid.

Example A:  Close your eyes. Imagine the feeling of a man’s fingers inside of you when he wants to play with your pussy while you suck his dick, now open your eyes and see that it is actually his dick. WTF! That’s what I said! He huffed and puffed and pumped and pumped like he was blowing my back out.  Words cannot describe how incredibly disappointing that was…he was cute and that’s all I can say about that.

Example B:  Now, no need to close your eyes this time because this other dick was THA TRUTH! Then it was attached to an absolute Adonis in impeccable shape with a panty-dropping smile. And then….we had sex. It was like someone giving you a gift, and you’re still trying to figure out what to do with it. That’s how he fucked. He was a “sticker.” Just bam, bam, bam (in my John Weatherspoon voice). Not only was I totally deflated by that performance but I walked funny for at least two days.

These are definitely on two ends of the spectrum, but let me explain why size matters. We want a size we can feel.  We also want a size that can work with us. We want our pussy to curve to the dick! (YES, that’s the coldest line from The Best Man!) EVERY woman wants this!! And when we get it, we never want to let it go!!

So…I empathized for that woman because her husband’s dick did not do that for her. I hope she finds the right dick. Oopsies, I meant the right man.

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