The Gift

Are you struggling with what you should buy your woman for Valentine’s Day? Is your lady truly into you and the relationship or is she all about what you buy for her while in the relationship? I like to know what type of woman I’m dealing with from the beginning. Find out what you have. This is the perfect time to do so. So what should you buy her? That’s easy! Don’t buy her shit. Not a mother fucking thing at all (at first). Take whatever money you have allocated for her gift and put it to the side for now. You will need it after you find out what type of girl you have. Let’s get started.

The gift is simple and easy to make. Here is what you need: four sheets of notebook paper (wide note for those of you that can’t express yourself in detail), a great writing pen (good grip and doesn’t bleed ink), and your favorite bottle of cologne (preferably the one she likes on you and not the one some other bitch got you). Ok… I assume that you figured out we are writing her a letter. The art of writing a good letter is rare. The key to a good long love letter is filling out the pages. You have to make the person feel like you said a lot even if you said nothing. The handwritten letter should be enough to satisfy her. So here we go…

First, on the top line on the right hand side write today’s date. Don’t use short hand for this letter. For example, 2/14/2015 is ok for an informal letter. Here you want to use February 14, 2015. Remember the key is to make the letter full. Make it fat. Visualize that fat pussy staring at you thru those leggings. Take up as much space as you can. This also means you should stay away from contractions like can’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t, doesn’t, I’ll, we’re, ect. These are common uses; however, we must remember our goal.

Second, skip two lines from the date and on the left margin write Dear (Nickname). You should never address a personal letter To The Love Of My Life, My One And Only, My Everything, or anything that seems so general. I also recommend not using the person’s first name. The use of the first name makes the letter seem like business. Are you her lover or a bill collector? A nickname is something that lets her know it is directly speaking to her and not meant for another. It draws her into something that is only meant for her. Women love shit that is theirs only. They hate sharing. Selfish asses.

Third, skip two more lines after you’ve addressed her properly. Start your letter with “Hello! I just want to take the time out and let you know just how special you are to me.” Remember “you are” takes up more space than “you’re”. Full letter! “Hello!” will take her guards down. Sometimes men like to get straight to fucking. We don’t want to say hello. We just want to get behind you and pull your pants down and fuck you. That type of fuck is needed to change things up but not today. We are working on your woman’s classification. Letting her know you took the time out does exactly what it says. You stopped whatever it is that you were doing and started something special for her. Nothing came before her. Make her feel good. Earn that pussy.

Next, let her know that you have been thinking about her. If you are struggling with the words to use, you should let her know in the letter. Men have hard times expressing feelings. A woman wants to know how he feels because women like to fix shit. Men are physical fixers. Women are mental fixers. Ok, so you’re writing your love letter. You should start a new paragraph every five sentences or so. Break it up so it doesn’t seem like you’re just running on and on and not getting anywhere. Remember, we have four pages to fill up.

Dedicate a paragraph to how special she is to you. Dedicate another paragraph to how she makes you feel. If there is love in the relationship, don’t be shy on using love and using it often. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to know that they are loved. Dedicate a paragraph on how beautiful she is. Now she knows that you know she is beautiful. This will excite her. Now you have to seal the deal. Dedicate the next full page to what you want to do to her. Always start with a kiss. Undress her mind. Give her every little detail of what you want to do to her. Make her pussy wet from reading the letter. Mentally fuck her. Now end the letter. Dedicate the last paragraph to all the things you are willing to do to make and keep her happy. Let her know how happy she makes you feel. Make her feel protected. Women want to feel safe. They look for security. Sign your letter with whatever she calls you. That way she knows you actually listen to her.

Now take the cologne and spary each page once. Just a small amount. Don’t be that old fucker that sits at the counter and spray the whole fucking bottle of every sample out. She doesn’t need to gag on cologne. You want her to gag on that dick after she reads the letter. Now fold the letter up.

Give her the letter as soon as possible. She will read the letter and you will know where your relationship really stands. If she reads the letter and walks you to the bedroom and fucks you, you have a woman that appreciates the little things. You just gave her the greatest gift ever. It was genuine. It was from you and not some card. It was hers. She will ride with you when yall have nothing at all as long as you continue to express what she means to you. If she reads the letter and asks where her gift is, you have a woman that is nothing but materialistic. She only cares about what you are buying her. How you treat her doesn’t really matter as long as you are caking her ass with gifts. She’s a user. Get whatever you want out of the deal too.

Remember the money that I told you to put to the side? Now is the time to use it. If you feel like you have the first woman I described, you really need to go out and get her something special. Let her know she is special and you appreciate her. Since every other woman has already received flowers for the holiday, you can send flowers a week later and let her know that the holiday may be over but the love yall share still blossoms. A classy woman will get off on that shit. (We’ll talk about classy women later.) Her officemates will hate her for still getting loved on after the holiday has passed. She will fuck you again when she gets home. Win win!!! If you feel like you have the second woman I described, you can go out and buy a fuck gift. She doesn’t care what it is. She just wants a gift. You just want to fuck. Don’t get her anything special. Try something from Dollar General.

There’s nothing wrong with doing things for your lady if she deserves it. You’re suppose to cake your woman. She’s yours! If you’re caking your lady and she ain’t fucking you, then you have my permission to cheat on her.

I hope I have inspired you to at least pick up the pen and write your thoughts to your lil lady. If you want to write the letter but feel like you just don’t know what to say, please feel free to contact me at BlackPhoenix@readtheselipz.com. I will write a letter for you for the small price off $4.99 (2 pages typed) or $9.99 (4 pages handwritten). Yes, I can charge you because I’m not fucking you.

Stay Moist!

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